Would you like to increase—substantially increase —your compatibility with other people? Can you imagine the ways this might benefit you in your career, your day- to-day dealings with people, and in your closest personal relationships?
Our characteristic Styles or patterns of relating to others determine the ease with which we build relationships. Most of our behavioral patterns are established early in life through the influence of peers, education, parents, authority figures, and our environment. Throughout our lives, a variety of behavioral patterns are reinforced and become habits. While our habits make us fairly predictable, everyone has different habits. That’s what keeps relationships interesting and challenging!
The Platinum Rule
In business, especially, people often create tension and discomfort by assuming we’re all pretty much alike. In fact, most of us, if asked about a philosophy of personal relations, probably would recall The Golden Rule, which we learned as kids: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”
If applied verbatim, it can backfire and actually cause personality conflicts. Why? Because following The Golden Rule literally treating people the way you’d like to be treated means dealing with others from your own perspective. It implies that we’re all alike, that what I want and need is exactly what you want and need.
But of course we’re not all alike. And treating others that way can mean turning off those who have different needs, desires, and hopes.
Instead, we suggest honoring the real intent of The Golden Rule by modifying that ancient axiom just a bit. We think the key to lasting success in business and the secret to better relationships, is to apply what we call The Platinum Rule: “Do unto others as they’d like done unto them.”